JOY AT WORK: NEVER RETIRING FROM GROWTH
BY DORIS EDWARDS, SGI-USA SOUTHEAST ZONE WOMEN’S LEADER
Living Buddhism, 9/1/2006, p. 42
After September 11, 2001, it became very clear to me that I had to live life to the fullest and appreciate each moment. I decided to stop settling for the easy life and to create the kind of life that I wanted. As I had been at the same job I had started right after high school, a change was needed; a new challenge. But I didn’t know how to find the change I was looking for. You could say I was stuck in a routine and didn’t know how to escape.
In February 2002, I attended an SGI women’s training course in Japan. Prior to going on the course, I chanted Nam-myoho-renge-kyo for clarity about leaving my job—I thought leaving my job might open up other opportunities. But my fears immediately surfaced, trying to convince me that I was making a big mistake. What are you going to do? I thought. Who’s going to take care of you? How are you going to live?
Despite all my insecure thoughts, I chanted a lot and decided to leave. I told my boss that I was going to Japan, and I needed his help while I was away: I needed him to prepare all of the papers for me to sign in order to leave the job. My boss immediately offered me another job in an attempt to get me to stay. I thanked him but refused. I chanted to leave with a good reputation, my pension, severance pay and unemployment compensation. I left with all of the above. But I still wanted to do something else in my life, though I had no idea what.
Upon my return from the training course, I determined to make my dreams a reality. I left my job to expand my life and horizons. I also wanted to go back to school and learn new things, to make the next fifty years more exciting than the first. With the Gohonzon, I already knew that the possibilities were endless. But it was very scary because I was leaving the job that provided comfort, ease and stability. I had to chant for the courage to move forward, especially through all of the fears that surfaced.
On March 27, 2002, I retired from the job I’d had for thirty-five years with a major telecommunications company. It was one of the most significant days of my life. In the letter “On Prayer,” Nichiren Daishonin writes, “There can be no doubt that the prayers of those who put faith in the Lotus Sutra will be answered” (The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, p. 346). Because of these words, I was confident about my future.
I have to admit I was truly enjoying my early retirement. I could spend lots of time chanting, visiting SGI members at their homes, answering phones at the community center and shopping. Life was good. Five months into my retirement, I received a call from my former employer asking if I would return for three months to cover for someone who wanted to take a leave of absence. No problem, I thought. After thirty-five years, what’s three months? I signed a contract to work for another three months.
I immediately missed doing SGI activities during the day. There I was, doing the same thing again. What happened to my determination? The person whose place I took at work decided not to come back, so my former employer wanted to rehire me. I emphatically told him, “No.” There I was, retired for the second time—more chanting, more member visiting, more call answering at the community center and, of course, more shopping.
A month prior to leaving my former job for the second time, I received a call asking if I would like to apply for a job at a major oil company. The call was from Wanda, a friend and SGI member who is the primary attorney in the Equal Employment Opportunity/Labor Relations Group for the company. Wanda had come to Philadelphia from Florida years ago. When she moved to Philadelphia, I was an SGI-USA district leader.
I used to take her everywhere with me. She always supported me 200 percent. Currently, Wanda is a women’s vice chapter leader. When I received her call to come work in her group, my first thought was, Great, now I get a chance to work with my friend. But I wondered if this was the something else that I wanted to do. I chanted for a high life-condition, went to the interview and was hired.
My five-month retirement came to an end. I was determined to grow and change. My challenge was to figure out how to create value in my workgroup, and even more importantly, in the corporation. My friend, and boss, was trying to effect a culture change in the corporation, and I knew I had to find a way to assist her in accomplishing her goal.
This proved to be no easy task. Many times she came into the office discouraged and doubting whether she could fulfill her goal to bring about a humanistic change in the company. I tried to encourage her, naturally—I wanted her to succeed. It also became my goal to support her in working harmoniously with the board of directors and senior executives.
I chanted a lot for her, especially during the times she felt the situation was absolutely hopeless. But things began to change, and we could see that we were making a difference in the company. The company adopted several progressive humanistic policies and programs that she proposed.
Everything was going very smoothly when, after two years of working as an executive assistant in the legal department, my boss asked me to become her paralegal. After she had promoted her previous paralegal to a different position, I started assisting one of the attorneys by taking on more and more paralegal functions. My boss was proud because, in recognition of the additional work I had been performing, the general counsel enthusiastically endorsed my promotion.
As this was happening, I was asked to take responsibility as the women’s leader of the SGI-USA Southeast Zone. All of my fears surfaced again, but I saw this as an opportunity to further elevate my life-condition and expand my capabilities. I chanted to win in every aspect of my life and took on my new challenges with that determination. Nichiren writes, “A coward cannot have any of his prayers answered” (“The Strategy of the Lotus Sutra,” WND, 1001). I was determined to have courage.
In my new career as a paralegal, I am determined to create value in my work environment. Every day before work, I read SGI President Ikeda’s words to not be defeated by my environment. President Ikeda encourages us to have a positive and enthusiastic attitude toward work and activities. He also encourages us to shine where we happen to be right now, and then we will become a winner.
One of the first challenges in my new position was to gain the trust and confidence of the attorney I was working for. She had a difficult time imagining that I could successfully transition from “secretary” to paralegal. I was initially swayed by her lack of confidence in my abilities.
My boss, also my friend, was concerned when I did not exhibit my usual positive attitude at work, and asked me what was wrong. After hearing the situation, she encouraged me to see this obstacle as an opportunity to grow. And she encouraged me to tell the attorney how she made me doubt my capacity.
I took her advice and chanted a lot to have a meaningful conversation with the attorney. When I told her how she made me feel, she was defensive and condescending. I responded with compassion, and she eventually understood how I felt. She apologized for her behavior and began to open up her life to me. I felt like a true victor. She and I have developed a close relationship. She now shares positive affirmations about the work I’m doing, and she tells me how she’s trying to enhance her own skills as well. Recently, she told me that outside counsel complimented my handling of a situation. I was so appreciative that she shared that with me because it contradicted her initial negative opinion about my capabilities. I know it must have taken courage for her to tell me that. I could see then that we had grown together.
As I continue to chant to be the best paralegal in the company, I am definitely winning in my daily life. I am now in school pursuing my bachelor’s degree in paralegal studies. I have an extremely challenging and hectic schedule with work, my SGI activities and school. And it’s only through chanting to the Gohonzon and doing my best to fulfill my SGI responsibilities that I have maintained an “A” average in school.
My boss continually tells me that people in the company are impressed with my calmness and professionalism. One of her colleagues, who knows that we are both Buddhists, told her that when he is struggling with his attitude at work, he will come near my desk because I am so calm.
I am so happy that I decided to return to work. I have seen my life grow in ways I never imagined, and I feel it’s a result of breaking out of my comfort zone. Most times, it feels like my life-condition is soaring, and I’m challenging myself in new ways every day. And I earn more money than I made after thirty-five years at my former company. I am determined to never retire from a life of growth and development.
